Today's filler post is brought to you by something my friends an' I want to tryout in San Diego's Gaslamp District.
As more and more people find themselves aware of papercuts this weekend, I hope that the holiday season finds itself treating you well.

Untitled

I'm not the greatest
I'm not part of that list
Why does my life always try to make me believe this ish?
I'll just ignore all the nay-sayers and all of life's negatives
Focus on the narratives, avoid yelling out too many expletives
Tell myself to stop thinking that my life is irrelevant
Because it's relevant

To hell with this

The name change to Calamity, was that done on purpose?
Your name used to mean something now I find that it's worthless
I know that it was subtle over this passing of time
For far too long you've been messing with my mind
With some undermined
Unrefined
Intertwined
Seemingly baseless showing of emotions left behind
That can make a man feel like he's flying blind
Yours is the type that's always mine mine mine
Kinda hard for our hearts to align
Especially when you have me focusing all my energies to build you a shrine

Moving on

There's no point wasting more time on this
When there are other reasons that the pains in my heart still exist
Lives taken early before they've even hit their prime
I can only tell myself that they heard the chimes
Of Heaven's bells
Calling back some of their angels from Earth
Their lives had worth
From every smile that was created from the day of their birth
To the the dearth of tears that hit the ground when they go under the dirt
The pain is real enough to cause one disconcert
I will be here holding on to that hurt
At least until we can all assert...

That every life has value and shouldn't be taken for granted
But if you do find yourself as one of the disenchanted
From the daily struggles of life's give & take
Than for goodness or whatever you believe in's sake
Just go ahead and throw away your life
Just don't do it in a way that can cause others strife
Make us perpetuate
Towards this cycle of hate
To a guy whose prison sentence doesn't seem long enough
To another that shot himself because he thought his life was too rough

Fuck you

Taking the easy way out
I can sit here thinking that without a doubt
As a three year old's fears fill the room with cries
That you couldn't look directly into your daughter's eyes
Man up an' try to explain to her why
You wrapped your hands around your wife's neck too tight
Sent into a coma a life that was bright
Eventually she ended up losing the fight
Month's later still nothing seems right

And you
Yes you
The guy that shot himself
You think you aren't the only with too much crap on the shelf?
Disease, hunger, foreclosures, unemployment
You think that you're the only one lacking in enjoyment?
Well you're definitely not, you made sure of that
With a selfish act
That outright went and attacked
Our sensibilities of what's right with this world

Goddamn

But what can we do now except keep our heads held high?
Use our legs to keep walking forward on the path that's right
Remind ourselves that it's okay to cry
And with time everything turns out alright

Good things happen to good people
Eventually I'll be right

-------------------------

Woke up in a writing mood.
This is what poured out.
Kinda covers most of the past few months for me.

In theory, I'll switch back to lighter pieces in the near future.

I once had boxer briefs that were damp like like teenybopper's panties at a Justin Bieber concert.
Essentially, the dryers at this apartment complex are horrible.

Been meaning to post more content here.
Just found myself dealing with a fever an' general stress.
I've learned I don't put up ideal posts when I'm in grumpy pants mode.

I did take full advantage of the fever however an' put together some interesting work.
Horton Hears a Hoohah.
If only I had access to a scanner again.

I'm not sure about you folks, but I tend to be thankful 364 days a year.

At some of my friends' insistence, I've been trying to take a break from dating.
Mostly because I've been dealing with alot of misses that, along with other circumstances in my life, have kinda shaken my confidence.
In theory, this break helps me to recover an' bring a little stability to my life.

To celebrate, I found myself at a gourmet burger establishment the other day.
Found myself leaving with a phone number.

It's a blessing or a curse.
I'm thinking at this point I either need an intervention or should just accept my family's designation of resident bachelor/playboy.

Currently, I blame _____ for my current bout with sickness.

Going into 5 months of unemployment with no aid from the Government has pretty much destroyed my savings.
Entering the next week, I'm looking at $47 to last me 'til the end of the month.
That's probably just gonna go towards gas.

Generally, that's not the ideal monetary situation heading into a weekend at Vegas to celebrate a cousin's wedding.
Especially when I want to try this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRQl8BaqZ50

It's a controlled freefall from the top of the Stratosphere.
Sets back any adrenaline junkie like myself about $114.

I figure with enough friends, I could easily fundraise that through donations/loans.
But that's just selfish an' unlike my nature.
There are so many great causes out there.
The one in particular I'd like you to focus your attention on is this one:

Music with a Cause
http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/derekevans

For those with low attention spans, let me try my best to sum up what's happening here.

At the time of this posting, there are 12 days left for people to place pledges.
These pledges help him cover the cost of recording a full album that he's been deserving of for many years.
Unlike other people that use this pledge program, Derek Evans plans on putting a good portion of those pledges towards three outstanding cause.

Specifically:
Lemons to Aid - http://lemonstoaid.org/
The Dana Farber Cancer Institute - http://www.dana-farber.org/
Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research - http://www.michaeljfox.org/

Three very worthy charitable organizations.
However, this is an All or Nothing campaign.
If he's unable to hit his goal 100%, no one will be charged an' he won't be able to contribute to those charities.

Derek Evans is an amazing talent.
A genuine class act in a world that sorely needs people like him.
An artist with a passion for music an' for helping others.

Do me a favor, help him out.
Make a pledge.
Share this story an' the webpage with your friends an' family.

http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/derekevans
http://www.derekevansmusic.com/

Thank you for your time.

Conversations with a Niece Pt.II

Her: Hi Uncle Reggie!
Me: Hey little one. Did you forget to brush your teeth? Your breath smells.
Her: I brushed my teeth already. Silly Uncle, you can't smell over the phone.
Me: I can.
Her: Really?
Me: ...no.
Her: Boo! Why do you like tricking me?
Me: Because you're adorable.
Her: So Daddy wanted me to tell you that the woman you are dating right now is a cunt.
Me: *laughter* That's sweet dear. Thank you for telling me that.
Her: What does cunt mean?
Me: You might want to ask your mom about that.
---------------------------

So this conversation actually came around late September.
Really need to laugh at the time.
If I could, I would've hugged the ish out of her.

Personally, I define cunt as:

Can't
Understand
Normal
Thinking

I really do lead a boring life.

At the moment, I'm perfectly okay with breaking down mentally.
Physically, not so much.

Currently wearing an eyepatch.
While I do look amazing, I'd just prefer it to be under different circumstances.

I'm under the impression that my stress level caused a blood vessel to pop in my eye.
It's been irritating me for the entire day.

Good times with life.
Good times.

Halloween's the time of year where people of all ages get to dress up/act in ways they normally don't.
Others like to use this time as an excuse to dress in ways that leave little to the imagination.

I plan on going as a healthy version of myself.

I've noticed a spike in new traffic hitting my page recently.
Welcome all!
Just feel free to skip anything before March '06.
I was still recovering from a previous relationship an' by then I've managed to fully develop my writing style.

Ideally, I can keep putting up entertaining posts.
They just need to get past the editing stages.

I Hate You (light version)

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to say.
I don't love you anymore, I'm glad I feel that way.
You sold my mom's wheelchair on ebay for 5 bucks.
And made her take a cab.
Swallowed all her vicodin.
Asked her why she was so mad.

I hate you, I hate you.
Everything about you really sucks.
I hate you, I hate you.
You're the biggest whore I've ever done.

I hope the doctor says I'm clean.
I really hate you.
You're a pussy bending machine.

You said you wanted me to teach you how to sing.
The sound of two dogs f-ing has a better ring.
You kicked my grandma in the face on Christmas Eve.
And stole her Matlock tapes.
Filled it up with Family Guy.
And told her it was a mistake.<

I hate you, I hate you.
Everything you look at turns to stone.
I hate you, I hate you.
Tried to choke me with a rotary phone.

I didn't know they still made those.
Oh yea and I hate you.
Your ragged head and big painted toes.
Oh yea.
Oh yea...
Oh yea... yea.

Sometimes I wonder if there's still a chance with her.
No, f-that I still wish she'd get hit by a bus.
You told me that you saw my father at the mall.
But he's been dead for years.
You said "oh I remember now."
I scream these words through my tears.

I hate you, I hate you.
Everytime you call me I hang up.
I hate you, I hate you.
Slashed all of the tires on my truck.

I rode a tricycle to school.
Now I really hate you.
You tried to drown me in your pool.

I hate you, I hate you.
Hopefully I made this very clear.
I hate you, I hate you.
Smoked all of my weed and drank my beer.

I mixed the beer with cyanide.
I really hate you.
Everyone's so happy you died.

I hate you, I hate you.
I hate you, I hate you.
I hate you.
Really hate you.
I hate you...

--------------------------------

found this gem of a song from my early 2000 archives.
there are benefits to constantly wanting to edit my writings before I make them public.
not entirely sure if there was any actual inspiration for this at the time.
I think this was just the end result of some improv singing.

Editing writings an' filtering through archives has made me realize something.
For the past 4 years, I've always had strong dating options for the month of October.
I wonder why things have consistently worked out that way for me.

Excerpts from my Dating Manual pt.1:

Rejection, It's okay

Now that you find yourself more knowledgeable about how to approach that woman you're interested in, let's take the time to bring ourselves to a reality check.

Rejection.
It happens.
Whether it's your first attempt at conversation with a woman that piques your interest or your 1000+ time, expect rejection.

Dating's like a traffic light.
Green light - yay
Yellow light - take things slow
Red Light - nooooope
Next time you find yourself at an intersection, look around and notice that these light changes are happening constantly and frequently.
Rejection, like red lights & sadly boring twists from recent M. Night Shylaman movies, is a naturally occuring thing.
Some of you nay-sayers will be thinking: not if the power goes out.
Going back to our chapter on confidence, how are you gonna know that traffic light isn't powered if you don't put yourself out there?
At the least, it turns into a stop sign, which doesn't necessarily mean you can't move past it.
Just observe the right of way, wait your turn, then head off to find your next best opportunity.

I haven't seen the future, but I have seen the present.
Mainly alot of guys going in with expectations set too high.
"No."
"Not in this lifetime."
"I've already got a boyfriend."
"I've just decided to become a lesbian."
"I'm a fan of penis, just not yours."
"I think I just vomited a little in my mouth."
They get hit by rejection lines like those and their world just disintegrates.
These are the guys that get caught into thinking that it's a life or death struggle.
The fate of the world depends on whether or not they get her contact info.
That if they don't kiss that woman, the guy playing guitar at their prom'll just disappear into nothing.
That humanity's future is at risk if they don't procreate that night.
That Lost will end abruptly without answering any questions if nothing happens.
Getting too extreme?
Some guys take it that far.
Don't be one of those guys.

Take a different perspective.
Know that the world will still be there the following morning if she rejects you.
Know that there's a strong possibility she'll reject you.
Know that you're not the only one shot down by her.

Which brings me to an important point: you're not the only guy in the world that's been rejected by a woman that's worth your interest.
It's a very rare thing to be that guy that has the looks, money, personality, brains, & mental stability all brought together into a single package.
We all can't be that one Uncle at the family party that drinks too much and starts groping your cousins inappropriately.

Be content with who you are.
If you're gonna sense a running theme throughout these sections, that's what it is.
Be content with who you are.

For this particular section, realize nobody out there can get whatever person they want.
In this aspect, I like to compare dating to baseball.
Specifically, On Base Percentage an' Batters Average.
At best I'm a career .312 hitter.
I've had my share of plenty of misses.
I'm human.
They're human.
Sometimes people/personality/chemistry won't mesh well together.
Best thing you can do is keep stepping into the batter's box an' swing away.
You'll get better at it, you'll see the pitches better, you're more likely to get on base.

Which harkens back to the Confidence section.
Things are more easier and fun once you know what you're doing.
In the realm of dating, the only way to get experience for most people is to put themselves out there.
Others have stupid amounts of money.
I'm not one of 'em.
Personally, I don't feel that any lessons learned through that route would be meaningful/usefull.

Rejection happens.
It's one of the laws of nature.
I want you to be comfortable with that fact so when it does happen to you, you'll be able to recover faster and move along.
------------------------------

A general snippet from the manual I've been slowly editing over the years.
It's essentially a collection of all my lectures/pep talks/observations surrounding the dating scene I've acquired over the years.
Why people consistently keep turning to me for advice I'm not sure of.
Technically, I'm single.
But my advice has worked for them.
I must be saying something right.

And now a snippet from an unnamed novel I've been piecing together for close to two decades:

As Tum Tum trudged along at the front of the line he couldn't help but find himself hating the worldly troubles that were brought about him recently. His village nickname managed to follow him into this mercenary corp and he made a horrible first impression on his squad commander. With the hair let loose about the shoulders an' chain mail hugging to every curve of that slender body, anybody would've mistaken the commander for a woman too right? At least without hearing the squad commander's strong baritone voice ringing throughout the camp. There was a reason he was at the very front of the vanguard. Life hated him.

In retrospect, it seems that life always had misgivings aplenty to send his way.
Three weeks ago he was the son of a famed merchant, and lacking all of his skills. The series of events that lead to his friends thinking he lost his virginity to livestock. His only meager claim to fame in his village was that bottomless "Tum Tum" of his that lead to his victory at the annual grape festival as a child. When the Deviled Rapiers settled in, he saw an opportunity with this mercenary corp to make a better name for himself. To be more than the tavern's stableman. To actually bed women without the use of currency. To actually be respected.

This was a great start.

At least they were no longer marching under the harsh glare of the sun he told himself..
A week's march had brought them into the forested outskirts of the Kingdom of Dainian. A kingdom rife with civil war after the unexpected loss of it's monarch. Torn between the court officials that turned the child-king into a puppet and the lords that fought alongside the late monarch to bring peace to the region a decade ago.
Tum Tum didn't care much for that. In his quiet village, all he heard about was the Kingdom's specialization of the Rifle. He figured any region that can mass-produce weapons like that would certainly be a wealthy one. One that an average height, average build, average kind of nameless villager could take advantage of.

As he looked around he felt certain that he had something in common with the group members.
A ragtag group of adventurers that felt they had to take what they wanted from the world because it refused to give it to them. Positive thinking. Belief in my comrades. Tum Tum felt that would be enough to get him through the rough times ahead of him.

The problem with working odd jobs in the village is that it never afforded him the need to kill anybody.
Would it be easy for him? Could he go through with it? Would he be able to deal with the guilt after the fact? He gripped the spear his father gave him before he left. Quite generous of him, seeing as how no one would buy it. A cursed spear found on the battlefields the local legends stated. It'll get the job done, that's the only thing that mattered. A few more days, he'd be at the royal palace. In a week, on the battlefield. Pointy end goes into fleshy part. Simple. All too simple.

Much like the path they were on.
Just a simple shortcut their guide found running through the woods. A simple path that caused them to march shoulder to shoulder with the man next to them. Full of simple foliage. Simple rocks. Simple shade providing trees. Simple sounds of animals running through the forest. Simple sounds of thunder echoing through the forest.

"Strange. I don't remember any signs of storms when we first entered." Tum Tum stated to his new friend Geoff.
Geoff, normally the talkative one of the group was staring blankly at his chest. His fingers running over a hole he didn't remember being there.

What Tum Tum found himself staring at was the direct result of one of those famed rifles he heard about.
If he didn't find himself with an arrow suddenly protruding from his neck, he probably would've taken the time to recognize the sheer power of this newer weapon. As he watched Geoff fall forward into the ground, Tum Tum felt his legs give out from underneath him. The only thing he could think to himself while the world around him slowly faded into darkness was: "Man. Life really hates me."
--------------------------------

This "Realm" I created started back in my Junior High days as a comic book I wrote/illustrated.
It was a fantasy realm full of swords, guns, magic, dragons, and fighters that were on par with the Dragonball Z series.
By the time it got to the end of the High school years, it had evolved into a graphic novel.
Gone were the fantasy elements. In it's place was a focus on kingdom politics & military tactics because those were subjects I thoroughly enjoyed learning about.
Fast forward to the college years and beyond.
It's still heavy on the political intrigues between factions & kingdoms. There's still a premium on military tactics. It's just edged slightly towards a steampunk vibe. At least with some of the Countries/Kingdoms/Principalities entering the Industrialized Age sooner than their counterparts.

Where this particular scene fits in?
I'm not sure.
In my years of playing around with this world I've managed to build up generations of history and culture.
At least I have more things to put on paper now.

But since I'm a fan of mixing things up, my next online posting'll probably be a song.
Melody gets stuck in my head, you get to enjoy/suffer the end result.

I just realized that it's been a long time since I've pitched any San Diego area shows here.
Time to change that.



Jane Lui @ Lestats West.
October 8th - 8pm
All Ages
$10 cover charge(?)

Jane Lui was consistently one of my favorite gems of the San Diego music scene.
She then moved up north for a change of scenery an' a chance to focus on her music full-time.
A minor depression swept over San Diego county.
While that was happening, she blew up.
Which is awesome.
She's a goofy, genuine, sweet, an' overall wonderful woman.
Those qualities translate into her live performances.
Where you'll find yourself translated and entranced.
If you ever wanted to emulate those snakes dancing to the tune of a snake charmer, Friday night's your chance.

As a bonus: you can download her newest album in its entirety here.

I've been meaning to put up a few new pieces the past week.
Manly two songs, a spoken word piece, and a snippet of a novel I've been working on part-time for over a decade.
Needless to say, I've been distracted.
All my energies have been focused on starting up a business venture.
One that's truly legit and has me excited about my future prospects.

More details to be announced later.

Although, if anybody in San Diego's North County would like to see what's managed to captivate my attention/energy so strongly, you're more than welcome to join me Tuesday night.
Weekly business meeting.
Contact me if you're interested.

For anybody that can use one.
This one's geared towards the depressed ones.
I put it together like a form letter, select what works best for you.

Generic Pep Talk V1.2

Dear [name].

I heard you were [a little down in the dumps/thrown to the shitter/feeling off-balanced/a professional sports team fan/other] and could use a little pick me up.
Let it be known. I feel ya. We've all been there before.
I mean [job layoff/foreclosure/bankruptcy/crazy exes/having no purpose in life/dealing with constant pain/loss of loved ones/addiction/being a Raiders fan/being rejected/other] is rough.
That's just the way life is sometimes.
But I'm not gonna be trite an' say things happen for a reason.
Even if they did, I'm tired of hearing that an' I'm sure you are.
To me, it's all about perspective.
There are great things in your life that you've probably lost sight off because of [job layoff/foreclosure/bankruptcy/crazy ex's/having no purpose in life/constant pain/loss of loved ones/addiction/being a Raiders fan/being rejected/other].
Which is a natural thing that should bring no shame.

Shoot!
At least you [haven't lost a limb in a horrific accident/got rid of both appendages cleanly/have other body parts intact]. Right?

Buck up!
Be a [man/woman]! Do the Right thing!
Support [vampire/werewolf/zombie/mummy] romance!
Go get 'em tiger!
They're grrrrrReat!
You can do it! We're (not)counting on you!
Do a barrel roll!
There's always cake.
Knowing is half the battle.
Only you can prevent forest fires.
My balls itch.
Double rainbow. So intense.
The cake is a lie.
This is Sparta!
Glory! Take it! It's yours!
Freeeedooooooom!!!
Are you not entertained?!
I am Spartacus.
*war cry*
*rooster call*
Saaanntaaaa!!!
There are FOUR lights!!!
There's light at the end of the tunnel.
I''ll leave a light on for you.
The grass is always greener on the other side.
The power is yours.
Hoo hah!
There can be only one.
You're not last.
Ni!
That'll do pig.
You're a mean one Mr. Grinch.
Just keep swimming.
Hakuna Matata.
I love lamp.
I know Kung Fu,
You're a God and I am not.
Friends forever. Friends until the end.
Scotty doesn't know.
Feel the rhythm. Feel the vibe. Get on up. It's bobsled time. Cool Runnings!
That's what she said.

Am I right?
Didn't even have to mention Candle Jack. Cuz we all know wha-

I've just noticed that September has consistently been a low point for me for each of the past three years.
Here's to hoping it's different next year.

Today's post is a semi-filler post while I continue to organize my life into a happy medium that I can be comfortable with.
I'm not a fan of unleashing bitter sarcasm or snapping at people.
It's not the standard affair people are used to.

Traveling back to Newton Faulkner's Hand Built by Robots.
It's just a consistently wonderful album for me.
What brought me to his attention was his guitar playing ability.
Add in great arrangement, melodies, an' writing, you've got yourself an album that I'm consistently listening to from beginning to end.

Newton Faulkner - Uncomfortably Slow

Traveling again
I know exactly how it's gonna end
The routine day dream starts as I get off
I'm holding up the queue
Because my ticket won't go through
I know it should be simple but it's not

So don't take my photograph
Cos I don't wanna know how it looks
To feel like this
As cars and people pass
It feels like standing still but I know
I'm just moving uncomfortably slow

Something's gotta change
I know I'm lucky in a lot of ways
So why do I want more
Than what I have?
Brace myself to hear the lies
I wonder if they know that I
Don't get the jokes but I just
Need to laugh

So don't take my photograph
Cos I don't wanna know how it looks
To feel like this
As cars and people pass
It feels like standing still but I know
I'm just moving uncomfortably slow

I'm just moving uncomfortably
Slow down
There's infinite detail
When you break it down
It all becomes simple how
It all becomes clearer now

So don't take my photograph
Cos I don't wanna know how it looks
To feel like this
As cars and people pass
It feels like standing still but I know
I'm just moving sub-consciously
One day I guess I'll be
The man that you think you see
I'm just moving uncomfortably
Slow.

--------------------------

Song captures my mood the past week or so perfectly.
Frustrations an' stress of life.
Along with interpersonal relationships.
Find myself on a see saw with an incredible person.
Or more like a beautiful waltz where all we do is dance around each other.

On a positive: it has inspired a few pieces from me.
Will I ever get around to posting them?
Who knows?

Do you ever just feel like people are only window shopping for personality in the dating scene?

I haven't failed.
I've just managed to find an extraordinary amount of ways that don't work.

Messed up my average of at least one post a month.
Here's a quick update on my life via cliff notes:

- Decided to go full-time Asian an' dye my bangs orange an' the rest of the hair a blood red last month.
- Bar/restaurant where I work at has been closed for roughly four weeks now due to remodeling that the City of Oceanside has put on hold until further notice.
- Currently waiting to hear back from unemployment & welfare applications I put in last week.
- Also waiting to hear back from the 70+ applications I sent/dropped off this week.
- Been spending alot of time editing my works.
- Plan to post up a snippet of a story in the near future.
- Still need to fix my guitar. The only thing keeping the neck from snapping off is the strings.
- Taking a break from dating, but not flirting (it's cost effective)
- Starting to think that might be a bad thing... I burned calories chasing after 'em/
- Typing words here that you read.
- Could use 3 surgeries. The one that pains me the most is my left knee. The one that takes priority is the one that corrects sleep apnea. The one that gets the least attention is a procedure to clear out leftover mold from my lungs that weren't killed by antibiotics.
- Hasn't been sick for quite awhile.
- Wondering if I just jinxed myself.
- Can't remember if there was anything else I needed/should bring to your attention.
- Plans on ending these lil' notes here soon.
- Probably will end these lil' notes soon.
- Wondering how long I can keep this going?
- Wondering how long this joke can go 'til it gets old.
- Currently ending cliff notes on my recent life.

In closing: I'd prefer everyone that reads this to enjoy the present in a way that doesn't make them regret the past.

That statement being more profound if you imagine myself stroking my fu man chu while I say it.

Let me tell you a story:

Drunken marine walks up to our bar because our door guy only checks id and leaves it up to us to refuse to pour drinks to pre-plastered people.
Looks at me, then tells me: "I want an order of crunchy rolls."
I reply: "We're the bar connected to a CHINESE RESTAURANT. Kitchen's closed, I can only cook you appetizers."
Him: "Well be a good chink an' fry some egg rolls up good."

I stay quiet and let it slide because I'm burntout, wrong type of Asian, and he's in that drunken stupor where if he doesn't get what he wants, he's gonna throw a hissy fit like the mature adult should.

Cook up his egg rolls, give him his tab.
In between egg roll one and two, he actually eats most of the tab.
While I stare at him.
Wondering if our military even worries about friendly fire when they hand off rifles.

There's no actual derogatory term for Filipinos, we've managed to laugh 'em all off or ignore them.
I'm annoyed though.
It's just that my short lifetime's been filled with racism, prejudice, and social bias.
It gets irritating sometimes.
Because the majority of the people that joke around with it have no first hand account of how emotionally damaging it can be.

Since Jan 10 of this year I've offered up a daily pick-up line service to anybody that texted the word "LINE" to my cellphone.

Some favorites include:
- Be unique and different: say yes.
- Drink this bottle of tequila and let me know when I look good to you.
- If I had a nickel for everytime I saw a great smile like yours I'd be a poor, poor man.
- I want to put my thingy into your thingy.
- I hate you.
- If you want 30 seconds of ecstasy and a lifetime of shame, I'm your man.
- No lines. I just wanted to say that I really like your smile.

I think I've used up all my wit & creativity to provide daily quality to my subscribers.
No repeats yet.
Turns out I've been neglecting this outlet.
My bad.
Few more pieces I need to finish editing.
Maybe even an excerpt from a Fantasy novel I've put on hold for the past decade or so.
Who knows?

This guy doesn't.

A friend asked me to write about rainbows.
This is the piece I come up with.

Rainbows

It's elementary
How this diversionary
Quite simple burglary of the senses
Can be so extraordinary
Yet oh so ordinary
And lead to this simple statement:

I like rain.

Now I don't mean for this piece to revolve around moodiness.
Or the South Korean entertainer of the same name that has ridiculous abs
that look nothing like mine and set me into the previously mentioned
state of moodiness...

Call this a love poem.
Or a processionary
Somewhat rudimentary
At times tumultuary
Piece of gallantry.

...let's just stick with calling it a love poem.
To my favorite natural occurence.

That thing that we sing in
We dance in
We splash around in
Makeout in
And for some people get some heavy petting done in.
Given enough time, it's guaranteed to make anybody wet.

See, I'm a fan of the rythm.
Drop.
Drop.
It starts up slowly.
Gives you time to notice the change of the wind, the sweeping of the clouds,
the cooling of the air.

Drops turns to pitter patter.

People head for cover as the pitter patters turn into a torrential downpour
of liquid precipation formed by the condensation of atmospheric water vapor
into drops of water
and just
before
you realize I just taught you something scientific...

it stops.

silence.
peaceful silence.
drip.
drip.

For some reason I find myself thinking about physical contact
with a woman in the form of sexual intercourse.

Oh let your drops caress every inch of my body and leave me breathless
with your majestic beauty.

That was about the rain.
Rainbows.
They're pretty.
They remind me that everything's gonna be alright and to relax and just
take a break.

Refractory period.
Now that's a blatant sexual reference.
To be honest, I lost track of any meaningful point I wanted to get across
with this piece.
Probably when I said "it".

I think I'll just go get myself a cup of tea now.

-----------------------------

Rough cut.
Just put this together in the last half hour or so.
Ideally it's broken down in a way so that when you read it, you can get the cadence I'm aiming for.

Dating Manual (Outline)

-Foreword/pep talk
-Confidence (sharks)
-The Approach pt.1: positive body signals (eye contact/smiles)
-The Approach pt.2: bartender is your friend
-The Approach pt.3: competition
-The Approach pt.4: bodyguards (women rarely travel alone)
-The Approach pt.5: non-bar/club settings
-Rejection, it's okay
-The Conversation pt.1: Her, her, her (be aware of surroundings)
-The Conversation pt.2.: positive signals
-The Conversation pt.3: negative signals/when to walk away
-Seriously, rejection's okay
-The Conversation pt.4: get contact info
-Now what? Proper sober contact etiquette
-First Date
-Oh crap! More dates?!
-Closing/Words of encouragement

--------------------------

at the least, a rough edit.
probably find myself posting a few snippets in the following day(s).

A letter to the next woman to catch my interest.

SNORE

"S" is for the sunshine your smile brings to my life.
"N" is for the night when I find myself thinking of you.
"O" is for the other time I find myself thinking of you, day.
"R" is for Reggie, in case you forgot my name.
"E" is for enchanting, the way your laugh rings in my ear.

But I like to think it's more than my friend's snoring that's keeping me up and wondering what
you're doing.
It's one of the constants in my current life.
Breathing.
Eating.
Drinking.
Regular bowel movements.
Thinking of you.

And I like to think that I'm not the only one that gets excited about hearing that notification
sound for a new text.
Hoping it belongs to you.
Being disappointed it's just your roommate needing a ride home from work.

Or your mother.
Who is letting you know that her plane touched down safely.
Sure it's been almost half a year since I've seen her.
But there's only one thing I want to hold in my arms right now.

You.
And cash.

So that's two things.
But the cash is ideal because it'll let me spoil you proper.
The way you deserve.
Because you're a 9.9999.
Add me and you're a perfect 10.

I should've been sleeping 6 hrs. ago.
But you're just running around in my head.
Which probably explains your great legs.
Also, dude snores REALLY loudly.
But yea, still thinking of you.
And how I'd be dreaming of you if it wasn't for the dude passed out in the living room.

Still thinking of you...

Why aren't we dating?

--------------------------

so that's pretty much a shortened version of a spoken word piece I'm working on.
part of my insomnia series.

I figure if this one gets enough attention I'll start posting more.
who knows?
maybe I'll even get inspired to get my guitar an' keyboard out of storage an' start songwriting again.

alternatively, I can take topics from all of you and see what my stream of consciousness comes up with.

Just for fun, the following is a compilation of what I consider the Top 25 sexiest things I've ever been told by a woman.

1 - Your balls look adorable.
2 - I'm not sure how my hand ended up in your crotch.
3 - *lifts up top* these are yours.
4 - I like penguins too.
5 - I skipped my grandmother's funeral to spend time with you.
6 - I got a speeding ticket. (for a booty call)
7 - I'm not wearing panties (said while at church)
8 - get me DRUNK tonight.
9 - I'm a nurse/studying to be one.
10 - I can cook.
11 - Yes.
12 - I don't gag.
13 - I'm on birth control.
14 - I want you sliding in and out of me until we can no longer take the friction.
15 - Ready to fill out that application?
16 - there's a snake between my legs.
17 - Let's forget work an' get back to bed.
18 - Your penis. my mouth. now.
19 - I don't care if my parents are sleeping in the next room.
20 - I'd pay to see you naked.
21 - I'm cooking fried chicken.
22 - I haven't seen your penis, but I'd like to.
23 - *BURP*
24 - I can't find my bra.
25 - I want you more than a stable job.

I lead a boring life.

Newton Faulker: Hand Built by Robots

Released in 2007 but still consistently in my heavy rotation.
It's been awhile since I recommended an album, this would be one of 'em.
I figure it's safe to say it'd be one of my desert island disks.
The following is one of my favorite tracks.
More so because I can identify with it strongly.

Newton Faulkner - I Need Something

I need something to believe in
Cuz I don't believe in myself
And I'm sick and tired
Of getting nowhere
Guess it'll all work out

And I don't mind it anymore
And I don't mind it anymore

And I need someone to put my trust in
Cuz I ain't trusting myself
And I'm scared of failure
So scared of success
Guess it'll all work out

And I don't mind it anymore
And I don't mind it any....more
More...
Oh yeah

I need something to believe in
Cuz I don't believe in myself
And I'm sick and tired
Of getting nowhere
Guess it'll all work out

And I don't mind it anymore
And I don't mind it any....more
More...
Oh yeah

So to keep up with what's starting to seem like an annual tradition, I'm not having any serious dating options at the moment.
I call it bein' fiscally responsible.

I imagine I'll be spending a part of my Valentine's/Singles Awareness Day over at Balboa Park or Seaport Village being aware.

There's one...
There's one...
They'll probably be too by the end of the night.

Some people wonder if I lead a healthy life.

Happy Chinese/Vietnamese New Year!

Also: 60's bash at my bar tonight.
Feel free to join.

Fun commercials this year.

Because it's fun, I celebrated Martin Luther King day with some racial profiling courtesty of North County Law Enforcement.

A routine traffic stop.
Complete with the standard question: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Now normally, I'm very compliant and respectful whenever I get pulled over.
Hands on the steering wheel in plain sight.
Verbally acknowledging everything I'm gonna do before committing them.
i.e. "I'm now going to reach into the glove compartment to grab my registration and proof of insurance for you."

Tonight was different.
I'm not sure if I was just drained from a long week, slightly buzzed, or a combination of the both.
For some reason I found myself in my playful, troublemaking mode that some would refer to as my "charming demeanor".
My pops would refer to that mode as "smartass".

In response, I tell him: "You needed a hug and consolation from the Chargers game?"
Laughter.
Venting.
Mutual bashing of the Raiders.
Eventually he forgets whatever superficial reason it was for pulling me over an' sends me off.

Point of this post?
I found myself thinking of all the possible answer I've ever had for that question but never voiced outloud.

The following would be a partial list:
- Because the sky's blue?
- You thought it was a sexy bitch an' it turned out to be just me?
- Because 4+4 does not equal 29?
- You wanted to confiscate some of my chicken sandwiches?
- To keep one less person away from the donut shop?
- Because your sex is on fire?
- You didn't believe Asians could actually drive well in inclement weather?
- Because I stopped believing?
- *rooster call*
- You were sent from the future to assassinate me?
- Just because?
- You wanted to get my phone number?
- I dated your sister an' broke her heart?
- You needed dry cleaning?
- I'm on candid camera?
- Do I owe you money?
- Because I stole a Watchamacallit bar from 7-11 when I was 8?
- That damn sasquatch.
- Because someone has to.
- To tell me that N'SYNC is coming back together and touring?
- Because the cake is a lie?
- Is it my birthday?
- To tell me I'm doing okay?
- To give you an answer an' have you yell out "wrong!"

Feel free to add to the list.
I don't recommend usin' any of them though.

So I've managed to survive 2010 so far.
Congrats to everyone else reading this.
Apparently you have to.

Been letting the hair grow out since my razor broke last year.
Even had a nice mohawk goin' for New Years Day.
Our bar was holding an 80's theme.

Fu Man Chu's been growing out well also.
Too well in fact.
Keeps getting in my mouth whenever I eat.
I equate it to cunnilingus without any of the benefits for myself.

In case you haven't noticed, there's no life-clarifying moment in this post.
Just a filler 'til I can get around to organizing my thoughts on paper better.

Best wishes to everyone!